Retirement Ain't Easy

It was four years ago today when Dennis’ body was found sitting on the couch in the living room of his Sachse Texas home.  His little brother, Robbie, found him early that Wednesday morning when he dropped by to check on Dennis. I received a text from a mutual friend, Steve, on my phone two hours later while I was sitting in a conference room at work with a few other people who knew Dennis.  I was shocked.  I had to leave the meeting and sequester myself in my office so I could read the text twenty more times before it finally made sense.  I cried.

Dennis was like a brother to me.  I met him in the spring of my tenth grade year, 1977, in a Geometry class at Killeen High School (KHS) in Killeen Texas.  We both sat in the back of the class.  We were both Army brats.  We realized we both loved the same rock bands and had a similar sense of humor. From then on we were best buddies. 

What really bound Dennis and I for life was the guitar. He had taken up guitar, learning to play, and I had taken guitar lessons three years prior; I knew some basic chords and how to tune a guitar.  Dennis’ brought his excitement for the guitar and inspired me to pick it up again.  During that spring semester we talked about music, guitars and sometimes Geometry.

During class Dennis would use his arm as a guitar fretboard and show me how to play barre chords he had learned.  I had never learned these chords in beginning guitar lessons, I knew basic open chords and old folk songs that no one wanted to hear me play.  Barre chords were rock.  Barre chords were an epiphany.  It was like learning the secrets of the universe.  Clouds parted and all became clear now when I listened to rock music.  Barre chords were what all my favorite bands used to play their songs.   

I’m sure people looked at us with amusement when we both would grab our right arms with our left hands and play out a chord sequence from a favorite song.  I learned quite a number of songs this way from Dennis.  It was destiny that we start a band.  How could we not.

Except for one 80’s cover band, every band I have ever played in included Dennis.  Our first band in High School was LEAF (don’t ask).  Then came Second Chance, a band we put together after high school.  We were pretty damn good and played many local bars before we broke up and heading off to different colleges.

We met back up in Dallas with college degrees in hand and started where we left off, playing house party’s and open mics at local bars. My last band with Dennis was called Rockenstein.  I sang some songs, played rhythm guitar and keyboard.  We were pretty damn good and played bars regularly.

So how did Dennis pass?  I never learned the full reason. I never heard what the toxicology report said. I am damn sure it started with cigarettes.  He smoked, a lot.  It wasn’t cancer though.  The downward progression of his health started four years prior to his death. Things started going downhill when he had blood flow issues to his legs.  That led to him requiring a triple bypass open heart surgery. His smoking caused his blood vessels to contract to the point where all the major arteries going into his heart were clogged.  Blood was only flowing through the small capillaries.  He could’ve had a massive heart attack if he had exercised in the slightest.

After bypass surgery he gave up smoking, but not for long.  Smoking again, it didn’t take long for blood flow to his legs to become an issue again.  His left leg stated to literal die. So they cut it off at the knee. Life just got more difficult then. Sometimes he would wear a prosthetic but most times he was in a wheelchair. His last year of life he worked for me. I had gotten him hired back on at the company. Many times I would get a text on Monday mornings saying he was in the emergency room. he had been there all night due to severe pain. His good leg started hurting and, with his severed leg, he was always in pain. The pain was getting worse and the medication dosages got higher. Finally it was decided he should go on long term disability (LTD). My last text to him, on Tuesday afternoon July 16, was asking where he was on getting that paperwork into Human Resources. He had, and was waiting to get approval to start LTD. That never happened.

I miss Dennis. I miss the jokes we would share with each other over texting. Or we would go out on a Saturday night to see a mutual friend’s local band play. Or we’d be setting up for our own gig at a local bar. He had been a part of my life for so long. My wife knew him almost as long as I did. We were both devastated by his passing. Every year I will continue to post about his passing and share photos of our lives. Maybe one day I’ll put together a memoir of all the bands I played in and feature Dennis prominently.